Jobless XD

"We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ" - 1 Thessalonians 1:3

"We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me." - Colossians 1:28-29

For the first time in a very, very long time, I have been able to start "cleaning up" my life organisationally. I have been so busy/tired in the past year and a bit that I have become increasingly disorganised and "messy" in my life; and those who know me know that I do NOT like mess.

In this clean up, I stumbled upon my "BCAC Job List". And for the first time in many, many years, I have absolutely nothing on it.

It feels very, very strange to stare at that blank page. Bittersweet. Most of the items that were there most recently were deleted off the list mostly because I couldn't do them, not because I had actually completed much in recent times. The events of earlier this year had shot me down and I had come crashing down in spectacularly flaming fashion. But despite the pain of those memories, I cannot deny how sweet it is to have this period of rest to restore my soul. I finally have time to breathe.

But still, the question remains:  Now that I'm "jobless" at BCAC ... XD … what do I DO with my life now? What does my Father want me to do with my time?

I've known many fellow Servants who, once they step down out of formal ministry, simply "disappear" from the scene, thinking that their time of Service is well and truly "over". They think that now that they're not serving in a formal post, they don't need to serve at all. And soon enough, they fade out of the Church scene altogether. I am wary against following that trend. I don't want my "rest" to become "retirement". I want to be able to return to the Race, and not just become a spiritual cripple.

An old pastor friend once told me, "Once a Servant of God, always a Servant of God". He said it with respect to formal pastoring. But to be honest, this is true even outside of formal ministry. Christians are always Servants of God; it's simply a matter of whether you are a faithful servant or an unfaithful servant. (Luke 12:42-48)

So, what am I to do?

As I pondered on that, I began to find the bits and pieces of my life in which I am serving God in.

The first thing is: I am serving Jesus in my Rest. It is a Sabbath rest, not a "holiday" in Worldly terms. It is a proactive rest that awaits in prayerful anticipation of the time when I will one day spring forth once more back into the fray. I am Resting so that I can serve better; I am spending more time with Jesus so that He can build me up to allow me to serve Him in more wondrous ways than I have ever known before. I am not just plopping down like a couch potato and watching the world pass me by. I am sitting, restful but watchful, trusting in God and trusting in my brothers and sisters in Christ to continue the Battle while I prepare myself to join in once more when I am well.

While I'm not serving God in Formal Ministry, I am still always serving God in my Relationships. As a human being, you never truly break away from relationships with other humans, and so that is always a ministry area that you cannot possibly run away from. People are always going to be affected by the way you treat them, whether in Godliness or ungodliness. There are still people to encourage and teach, people who need to be warned against straying from the Way, people who need support to be able to keep running. God has blessed me with amazing friendships in which I can serve Him well, and I cannot just run away from them. And of course, there is this whole entirely new "girlfriend" thing which is a whole different ballgame in the Relationship sphere in which I have to learn a completely new way of serving another sister in Christ XD ^^"

I am serving God in my Prayer. I have always thought that, if one day I become completely paralysed from head to toe, and I can't utter a single word or sound, I would still have an actively useful role in the Body of Christ: I can still pray. And that can be such an overlooked role in the Church. (So if I ever become a zombie, please remember to come to me with your prayer points!!! If I can hear you, I will be praying for you! XD It's not like I'd have anything else to do :P XD)

I am serving God in my Participation. Do you know what the most frustrating thing about being a leader in the Church is? When you try to rally people to do something, no one responds!!!!! You work your arse off and people just treat it so nonchalantly that you feel that you've wasted your time. Well, now it's time for me to return the favour in full, and respond by responding when my leaders speak up. As new leaders step in to fill the gaps, it is my turn to encourage them by participating in the things they organise, to help where I can, to give them feedback, to simply tell them that I appreciate what they're doing for Jesus.

I am serving my Father in my Submission. This will be the first time in a very long time in which I am no longer in a position of authority in the Church at BCAC. In the past, if I wanted something to be done I could just step in and get things started. But now that I am no longer in authority, I need to get used to being under authority, to be submissive to my leaders and not be a frustration to them by pretending that I still have authority. This is actually, surprisingly for me, one of the hardest lessons for me to learn as yet. It is hard for me to learn to keep my mouth shut XD But it is a great lesson to learn in humility :)

There are many other ways in which I will continue to serve Him even within this time of Rest :) But I will just leave it at that for now :) I suppose you get the point: Even in our "rest", all Christians continue to Serve, and they Serve in very important ways too! The Body of Christ needs every part of its Being to be functional parts, even in Rest. (Eg. Even in your sleep, your body does not lose its function. Your body rests; it is not dead :P). The Christian is never truly "out of a job" :)

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Phil 1:21) This summarises my attitude to life, and I hope that you can truly say that from the depths of your heart as well :)

[Oops… a "short post" became so long XD haha.]