Speaking vs Being: How who you are matters more than what you say

So tonight in my procrastination time, I spent two hours being captivated by this video:

For those that don't know, the organisation called City Bible Forum organised a series of debates/discussions between Prof William Lane Craig and Prof Laurence Krauss on "Life, the Universe and Nothing". Bill Craig is a leading Christian Philosopher; Laurence Krauss is a leading Atheistic theoretical physicist and cosmologist. This was the second discussion of the series, and it was held in Sydney. (The first one was in Brisbane, but that one's not worth watching; it was merely a platform for Krauss to be rude and oblivious to actual discussion).

While the topic of discussion itself was quite fascinating, what I found particularly interesting was how I was emotionally reacting to the discussion, and how that affected who I "wanted" to be right, and therefore whose opinion I favoured more. In being aware of how that emotional component affected how I judged each speaker's propositions, I tried to tease apart the emotional contributions to that judgement from the rational contributions to that judgement. And it was hard to do so!

But why?

And why is that important?

Krauss came across as an arrogant, and sometimes downright rude, personality. From the word go he set out to undermine Craig's character and reputability, rather than stick to the topic of the debate itself, as if that made any difference to the substance of the argument. Sometimes he does it subtly, or even jokes about it; other times (most times) he just rudely interrupts or demeans and devalues whatever the other person says.

Craig on the other hand comes across as a winsome, well-spoken gentleman. He rarely interrupted Krauss, and even when he does he's almost apologetic about it. He's softly spoken, and doesn't chase up flaws and fallacies in the other's arguments vehemently if it's off topic and not within the boundaries of the discussion.

Now, Craig outclassed Krauss with every single argument he made. Craig was clear and concise, addressed every relevant question directly and coherently. Krauss on the other hand often failed to address the topic itself, appeared blind to any opinion but his own, denigrated his opponent continually (subtly or not), and amusingly did not adhere to his prized "evidence" as much as he claimed to, often blundering into obviously ignorant statements that even mere laypeople could see are false (if they were looking).

But facts aside, who would you decide to be more authoritative and correct? How would you choose which one you listen to? Which person would you give the power to have authority over directing your intellectual growth and direction?

I came to the realisation that most of the time, if we're completely honest with ourselves, the actual facts of the matter matter much less than the person who is presenting the facts to you. If the person you view is trustworthy and authoritative, you'll be happy to go with what they say; or at least you'll take longer to refute what they say that you could rationalise to be wrong.

Why do teenagers trust their friends' advice on relationships over their parents' advice, when these friends have as little experience in this as the child asking the question and the parents have so  many more years of firm committed relationship to back them up? Why do students scorn the knowledge of a professor who does not know how to speak, but speak highly of hip, young and cool tutors who relate to them easily? (All the while  not realising that these tutors may only be a year or two ahead of them in their studies!) Why do patients fail to place their trust in a grumpy old senior doctor's advice, but their hearts melt in the hands of a warm, winsome junior doctor, despite the great disparity in experience?

Who the person is matters at least as much as, if not more than, what the person is saying.

And so some people will find themselves agreeing with Krauss more just because he's louder, speaks more than (and often over the top of) Craig, and his verbal dance appears more impressive. Some people will find Craig less convincing because he is more soft-spoken, and does not "speak up for himself" (when there is no need to, because Krauss' foolery would be obvious to the keen observer; but not everyone is dissecting the thoughts with a sharp mind!)

Others will disagree with Krauss merely because he's so rude, and they find themselves unable to accept the words of such an abusive person. And some will accept Craig's words simply because he is the nicer voice to listen to, the gentle, respectful, reasonable one.

All these four situations are technically wrong. One should not accept the validity of an argument just because of a person's personality. It does not make sense! The validity of the argument should be based on whether that argument actually holds water.

Ah, but who can override the power of the Heart? ;)

"The heart is deceitful, above all things"

And so, the next time you're entering or witnessing a discussion on controversial issues, think about this: Where is your heart? And how is that affecting your thinking?

And for Christians, it really brings home the adage, "Preach the Gospel at all times; use words when necessary".

What you say may be important, but nowhere near as important as WHO YOU ARE.

(PS - I have spent a third hour procrastinating by writing this blog XD...)

The gentle-hearted God

In Genesis 2, 3 & 4, it reads:

And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”…

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths...

And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” ...

And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them. Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of us in knowing good and evil. Now, lest he reach out his hand and take also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever—” therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken.  He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life…

----

And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”...

Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” He said, “I do not know; am I my brother's keeper?” And the Lord said, “What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood is crying to me from the ground. And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it shall no longer yield to you its strength. You shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth.” Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is greater than I can bear. Behold, you have driven me today away from the ground, and from your face I shall be hidden. I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.” Then the Lord said to him, “Not so! If anyone kills Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold.” And the Lord put a mark on Cain, lest any who found him should attack him…

----

The story of Genesis 3 is very familiar to most people, Christian and non. God tells man to not eat the fruit; man eats fruit; God curses man for eating the fruit. God looks like quite petty - come on, death sentence for eating an apple?! Humanity is doomed as a result of Eve's tastes.

Looking at the beginning chapters of Genesis in such a simplistic manner entirely misses the depth and complexity of these passages. There is much to be gleaned from poring over the first few books again and again. Seasoned Christians can run the risk of thinking that they've "read it all before" when they come back to these chapters, missing out on the rich treasures that can be found in studying this Word diligently.

Unfortunately I do not have time to delve into all the aspects presented by Genesis 3 and 4. But there is one particular topic that I wished to point out. When I read these passages again this time round, I was struck by the gentleness of God in these passages. That's right, you heard me right: gentleness. It is very easy to see God as the high and mighty Judge of the Universe in Him passing sentence on humanity; but it is also very easy to miss the parts that highlights Him as the aggrieved Father, filled with compassion and gentle-heartedness towards His children, whose sons and daughters have done a horrendous wrong according to Universal Law.

To understand the full extent of God's grace and mercy, one must understand the depth of the atrocity that Man had committed in that simple act of fruit eating. The introduction of Sin into the world wasn't simply about the ingestion of fruit; it was a primal act of Rebellion against the Lord of the Universe. It was a declaration that Man did not want God to rule over them, and that Man wanted to pursue his own destiny. It was to defame the goodness of God, to call Him an unfaithful liar that would hold back the best for us (when in fact He had already given us His best). To blaspheme the Eternal God was a crime of Universal proportions, and Justice would demand judgement of similar universal proportions.

So how does one see the grace of God in all of this?

Well, for one thing, God really went easy on them didn't He? Of all the command possible, all the rules and regulations that God could put in place, He simply gave them one command to follow: "but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat". ONE command, and it was a fairly simple thing to not eat from that particular tree since Man was given the rest of the world to eat from! Not only that, God even gave them a reason not to eat from it: "for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die." Even if God's Word alone is not enough impetus to keep the commandment, surely that extra warning would make Man hesitate!

Obviously that did not work out.

When you study God's reaction to Man's sin though, His grace really shines through. For one thing, He didn't obliterate them straight away. He had every right to do so; He had already warned them that in the day that they eat that fruit they would die. Instead, He holds off judgement and while they did "die" spiritually instantly in that their relationship with God was severed, He didn't let them just wipe them out, and allowed them to live so that Man could be saved by His Grand Plan.

When God confronted them about their sin, He didn't have to be so gentle about it. When He asked, "Where are you?...Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?"  Do you really think He really didn't know the answer to those questions? Of course not! He's God and He knows everything already. Yet, He didn't just blast them and say, "You EVIL sinners; DIE traitors!!" Instead, He gives them an opportunity to confess their sin, to admit their guilt, to repent. He asks His questions gently, tenderly, like a Father trying to help His children to understand where they had gone wrong.

Not only did God withhold (or postpone depending on how you look at it) His judgement against Man, He also continued to care for them and meet their needs. Even as he was sending Adam and Eve out of Eden, He was making garments of skin for them, so that they had better clothes than their pithy fig leaves. Some people may think that sending them away from Eden was a harsh sentence; but it is in fact a mercifully saving act! If they did indeed "take from the tree of life and eat, and live forever", then they would never die… which would mean they would live in Sin forever, not have the chance to die and be raised again, and not have the chance to have Jesus die for their sins in their place! It would mean an immediate sentencing to Hell with no room for recourse!

You can also see God's depth of compassion in the way He deals with Cain. He may have favoured Abel's sacrifice over Cain's (because Abel actually made an effort), but He loved them both. He gently, but firmly, warns Cain to be watchful in not allowing Sin to rule over him. Even though Cain is so unrepentant and hard-hearted in his dealings with God, God still dialogues and discusses with Cain, rather than just wipe Him out as He had a right to. Even as He was sending Cain out into the wilderness to wander as a fugitive, He promises Cain protection that he hardly deserves.

Contemplating this, I wonder: What do we think God is like? Do we see Him as the angry Judge, filled with righteous fury against evil criminals? Or do we see Him as the concerned and loving Father, who loves His children dearly no matter what they have done? 

The price you pay to love

 "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. " - Luke 15:20

Discipleship is dangerous.

Those who know me would know that I used to invest a lot of time and energy into discipling/mentoring younger Christians. It is one of the ministries that I passionately believe in, that I know makes a difference in people's lives.

Those who know me better, those who have looked more closely, would have also noticed that in the last year or so, I haven't been quite as keen in doing this any more. On the surface things may look like what they were in the past. But personally, I felt like I've been holding everyone out at arm's length. I haven't really engaged in someone else's growth for a long time; I haven't truly invested in another's life,   sacrificing something of mine in order to see them grow.

I hadn't actually seen it in that light. I thought I was just tired, weary, overworked, overstressed. But tonight I was able to attend a Gundy Young Adults' Bible Study group, and we just so happened to be talking about Discipleship this night. And it pushed my mind to ponder the state of my heart: Why was it that this topic which used to be so dear to my heart seemed so… difficult… to approach? What was it in me that made me so hesitant to dive back into this area? Why do my efforts in this area seem so half-hearted? Why do I fail to persist very far in this supposedly most-worthy work?

After a bit of reflection, I realised that the problem was fear. Fear that arose from pain.

You see, when you disciple someone you invest in them. You give off something of yourself to them, in order that they could grow. The more you invest, the more that can come out of it. And sometimes the harvest is beautifully abundant and everyone is happy.

But investment always involves risk. If there's no risk, then it could hardly be called a worthy investment. When you invest in someone, you have to expect a risk that the return isn't as great as you thought it would be. Or even that it would backfire on you and end up hurting you.

I was burnt. The investment I poured out into certain peoples' lives didn't turn out the way I thought it would go, that I wanted it to go.  And it grieved me. Yes, I know that ultimately it's not up to me or my power, that it's up to God's Spirit to move in that person. But it impossible for one to watch someone, who you love as deeply as if he was your very own son, move away from God and die a very slow spiritual death and not be grieved. It's like watching a family member being slowly eaten away by cancer - you see them dying, you see what's causing it, but you are powerless to stop it. Yes, there wasn't much I could do; but that did not mitigate in the least the depth of my grief for the situation.

And after such a painful situation, one wonders: is it really worth the cost? Can I really afford to let myself get burnt again? Can I really give until it hurts again?

Up until now, the question had been "unresolved". And, hence, the hesitation, the half-heartedness. I still think it's a worthy cause, but I just didn't know whether I was ready to pay the price any more.

Until tonight.

I don't know exactly why it changed. But tonight when I witnessed a friend weeping because of a different sort of loss in totally different circumstances, something twisted in my gut.

It is worth it. These tears that we weep for the ones we love are worth it; they are precious diamonds that cannot be bought with any amount of money. Even if we spend the rest of our lives marked and scarred by the loss of these ones that we love dearly, these people who we invest so deeply of our lives, it is worth it. Even if they never come back, even if things don't ever turn out for the better, they are worth it.

For me, it was a defining moment in helping me understand once again the Father's Heart. It is difficult to appreciate the depth of compassion that the Father of Luke 15:20 has for his prodigal son just by reading the words, but if you make an effort to put yourself in that situation, it's a bit easier. It paints a picture of a Father, who has been eagerly looking for the wayward son, even though he had no idea whether the son would come back or not. It shows the depth of compassion that the Father had for his son, regardless of how awfully the son had treated him, regardless of how little affection he received back from him.

This is my Heavenly Father's heart for me; this is my Heavenly Father's heart for the sons and daughters He places in my care; this is the way that my Father wants me to emulate His love for people. He wants me to love even when it hurts, not to love only until it hurts. He wants me to embrace them, even if doing so would cost me.

Why is it worth it? Well, I don't really know. I just know that this is what the Father wants, and I know that if that is what my Father wants, that is what He should get. I know that He wants what is good, and therefore I know that to love in this way is good.

And so, despite the aching deep in my bones, the weariness that comes from a grieving heart, I stand once again. It is time to shake off that weariness, to put my armour back on and join the fray once again. There is too much work to be done, and too little time to waste. There are too many people who need to be loved, and too little time in which to do it.

PS - to my prodigal son, on the off-chance you are reading this: I love you, and like your Heavenly Father we are both watching for you eagerly and greatly anticipating your return. I don't know what Our Father is planning, but I am hopeful and prayerful that some day you will see His Light once more. And when you return, there will be much feasting and celebrating :) But I cannot wait for you forever, and I need to get up and get working again; and all I can do is trust that God will take care of you and bring you back under His wings. Some day. Amen; may His Will be done.

Broken Promises

 In Jeremiah 29:11 it says:

"For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope"

Is God a liar? Is He deceitful in giving us false hope? Where is this welfare, future and hope that He talks about in this broken, sin-filled world? Where is He when we are suffering? How dare He claim to be a loving God when He lets such terrible things happen to us?!

All of us suffer to a certain extent, some more than others. This question was posed to me by a friend who suffers greatly. And this was written in order to address that question.

The first thing to note though, before I address the heart of the question, is that the question is technically the wrong one to ask. This is because asking the question in that way takes the verse out of its correct context. If you look at the verse in the context of where it comes from (especially Jeremiah 29:10-14), you'll see that God is speaking to a specific group of people (The Israelites) at a specific time (during the Exile).  It is by no means a blanket statement that God will grant everyone blessing and hope.

Answering the question in this way, however, does not address the heart of the question. After all, elsewhere in the Bible God does claim to be good, caring and loving beyond our wildest imagination; that He would care for and provide for us; that He would protect us and save us. Yet, every day we live through a reality of suffering, some more than others. Where is He in all of this mess?! There is something in our hearts that rails at the injustice of the situation; we feel slighted, wronged. It's as if your Father promised you something, but didn't fulfil that promise. If He didn't come through on His promise, then does that mean He wasn't able to do it? Or was it because He didn't want to do it? Is He really all that good?

Does He really love me?

The answer from the Bible is always a resounding YES! God does love you. There is (or at least should be) no question about it!

So… how are we to make sense of this senseless suffering, then?

I believe that we are often disappointed with God for absolutely the wrong reasons. We assume the wrong things about Him, and feel that He should abide by our assumptions the way we want. A poor understanding of the promises of God leads to unreasonable disappointment and bitterness.

The first thing you need to understand about God's promises is that God promises good but we don't deserve it! Too often we are like spoilt brats thinking that we deserve to have it all, and that we have been wronged greatly because we don't have what we want. But the fact is, we are traitors guilty of high treason! We have no rights. We have shaken our fists at the Lord of the Universe and dared to usurp His right to be Lord over us. We have betrayed His great goodness to us. As such, we deserve nothing more than extermination.

"Hold on a minute!", you might say, "I haven't killed anyone, I haven't hurt anyone, how can I be guilty of anything serious, let alone 'high treason'?!" Ah, but denying God's Lordship over everything, including you, is treason. And, to a perfect God, even the smallest "spot" of sin means that you have "fallen short of the glory of God".

The second thing you need to understand is that  God promises good to those who are His; He's very specific about who He will bless and who He won't. He doesn't just say that everyone will get good things; throughout the Bible God continually states that He will choose a particular group of people to bless. He proclaims that the Israelites He will bless, but the Caananites He will curse. He states that those who love Jesus will be saved, but those who don't will be damned. God differentiates between the people He will bless and those He will curse. (eg. Matthew 25, Revelation 20… even Jeremiah 29!)

And so, if you're struggling with God's apparent lack of blessing towards you, the first thing to contemplate is this: Do you belong to Him? Are you His child? Do you love Him? Because if you don't, then why should you expect anything from Him? It's like a child who throws a fit at a stranger who wouldn't give him icecream, but would give his daughter one. That child is not the stranger's son! He doesn't have a right to demand that the stranger give him icecream!

Thirdly, God promises good according to His standards. We think we know what is "good" for us… but do we really? Children, given the chance, would do all manner of dangerous things if their parents did not hold a tight reign on them. In a protected environment, they have no understanding that the things they want for themselves might, in fact, be harmful for themselves. So it is with us. How do you know that what you think is good for you really is the best thing possible for you? "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways. This is the Lord’s declaration. For as heaven is higher than earth, so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9) When Job complains to God at the apparent injustice of his great suffering, God replies in this way: "Who is this who obscures My counsel with ignorant words? Get ready to answer Me like a man; when I question you, you will inform Me. Where were you when I established the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding. Who fixed its dimensions? Certainly you know!" (Job 38:2-5) God's point? Who are you to question Me, the Almighty, Omnipotent, Omniscient Everlasting God?! It's like the child who questions the parents' motives or knowledge ignorantly, except on a much, much more extreme scale.

If you understand the extent of the "otherness" of God, then you can understand how it would be logical that you find it hard to grasp His thoughts or understand His reasoning, because you simply cannot comprehend that level of knowledge and thought. If that is so, then surely it must be conceivable that God could make something good happen out of something that appears terrible to you. Being stricken with disease becomes an opportunity to minister and love those who suffer in the same way; being struck with poverty helps you to be thankful for the people that you have around you; being cursed with loneliness helps you appreciate the Lord who is always near. We need to understand that God simply operates at a totally superior level over us, and that even when we cannot see what's good about a situation, God can. We need the humility to admit that we can't think like God, because we're not God.

The fourth point you need to grasp is that God promises good in the future. Most of the blessings He promises stretch far into Eternity. The Lord is much less concerned about the trivial amount of time we spend in this broken world, and much more concerned about the quality of our Eternal Life with Him! Yes, healing, restoration, peace and all manner of good things have been promised for us; but these find their fulfillment only after Jesus comes back to Earth and brings in the New World. It is not until Jesus comes back as our victorious King, vanquishing the Devil once and for all, that the New Jerusalem comes.

Humans are way too short-sighted, and this generation particularly so. We want quick fixes. We want comfort NOW. But "With the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day." (2 Peter 3:8). He operates in time frames that we simply cannot comprehend. And He says to us, "Trust Me. When you get to Eternity, it's all worth it."

 A fifth issue that is often conveniently overlooked is that God promises good, but the Devil promises evil. God is not the only factor at play here; there is an Enemy out there too! The Devil, the embodiment of Evil, desires nothing more than to see God's people suffer. God doesn't desire suffering for His people; the Devil does. Is God powerless to stop the Devil from hurting His children? Of course not! In fact, God does have a plan to stop the Devil once and for all in the future. But it is a plan in action; it has yet to be fulfilled. Sure, God could just wipe the Devil out in an instant. But, "The Lord does not delay His promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9) In delaying His plan to wipe the Devil out, He allows the greater good to be done, the salvation of many souls.

Of course, this question then arises: Why couldn't God stop the Devil before he made such a mess of things? Was He powerless to stop the Devil? Again, of course not! He is Sovereign Lord, Almighty Creator. He can snuff out all of existence at a whim. But He didn't. Why? I do not know. And I cannot pretend to know all the intricate details of the mind of my God.

See, at the end of the day, you can question His motives endlessly. The questioning would never stop; and there is never an answer that you can just say definitively x + y = z. It's not as neat as that. And the problem with trying to do too much of that is that it's all purely hypothetical! I am sure that when we get to meet God face to face and ask Him all these questions in person, we would all realise that we had figured it out all wrong! So it is hardly helpful to go down these rabbit-trails that lead nowhere. Rather, we should focus on what we do know for certain: Jesus came, died and rose again. He claimed He was God. The fact that He could raise Himself up from the dead proves that He is what He claims He is. From this, we can deduce that the Bible, the living Word of God, is true. The Bible states plainly God's goodness. Do we trust Him? Do we have faith in Him?

Finally and most importantly, God promises good in the form of Jesus. Yes, God promises to bring us peace, joy, love; Yes, He promises that He will take a place where there are no more tears or suffering; Yes, He promises to be close to us and take care of us. But the single most important Gift He has to give to us is JESUS. It is in Jesus that we have every and any blessing that God gives to us. Read Ephesians 1:3-14. All other things may be nice little additions, but it is the blessing of Christ Himself that is most important.

Got an incurable illness? Doesn't matter, because through Jesus He will give you New Life. Feeling poor? Doesn't matter, because through Jesus you have wealth beyond measure because you have the most important thing in existence! Feeling cornered and powerless? Doesn't matter, because through Jesus God has already won Eternal Victory.

You might prefer to have things like health, wealth and earthly power. But God doesn't give you what you want, He gives you what's good for you, and Jesus is the single most important thing that He can give you, because it is through Him that you have anything that matters for Eternity. Is it wrong to want health and well-being? No, but if you desire it above a desire for God Himself, then that is idolatrous and evil, because nothing matters more than Jesus.

There are probably other aspects that I have not covered yet. I suppose if I covered everything this blog post would take forever! But, as I had mentioned earlier, all the reasoning in the world will not change your heart. At the heart of the matter is: are you willing to trust Him?

It is my hope and prayer that in reading this the Holy Spirit will convict your heart, reach out and grab your soul, and help you see how much God loves you, even if you can't understand it very well right now. I can try and reason it out as much as I like, but unless He opens your heart, nothing will work. May the Lord give you Peace through His Son, who was sacrificed so that you may have Eternal Life. May you be able to look at Jesus, and see the bloody evidence that God loves you so much that He is willing to give His one and only Son up for your sake. May you see Him as the only way through to a future and a blessed hope.

"I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord."    

                                           Psalm 27:13

Amen

Faith and Fear

There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because He first loved us. - 1 John 4:18-19

Money is tight.

Ok, I know most of you wouldn't believe me - "You're a doctor, how can you be struggling financially?!" - but those of you who are closer to me would understand what I'm talking about. Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, which I will not go into, my financial circumstance has become quite tight. I'm pretty much spending 85% of my income just on paying for a mortgage as well as renting out here in Gundy alone. And I have to fit everything else into the 15% left.

I used to be pretty strict in my tithing. I was very keen on "doing things right", and so I tithed regularly. Internet banking makes it so easy! And so after every payslip that comes in, I would tithe  a percentage of my gross income.

But the hard times set in. Bit by bit, I found it more and more difficult to stay consistent with my previous tithing pattern. As the pressure mounted, I realised I couldn't tithe as much as I could in the past. So the amount got smaller and smaller, until sometime last year when I had to cut it out altogether because I was in such deep financial straits. I was quite frustrated about this; I felt that I wasn't doing "what I was supposed to".

Eventually though, things eased up. Finally, a few weeks ago, I decided I would try tithing again. I'd try giving 10% of my net, and see how it goes. Now, remember that I was already spending 85% of my money on keeping a roof over my head! So technically it left me with only 5% to live on. Which was probably a bit idealistic and naïve of me. But I had thought I should "step out in faith" and see how it goes. Surely God would look after me, and help me to stay faithful to Him. Surely it wouldn't take so long for me to start seeing more patients and earn more money and finally break the accursed baseline!

And so I did it. For a few weeks.

Of course, it didn't go at all to plan :)

The weeks passed, I still couldn't break the baseline wage barrier. Week by week I was juggling the cash in my bank account so that I could pay the bills. Whatever could be put on credit I put on credit, in the hope that somehow, someday, I would be able to earn enough to pay off that debt...later. But it was like being in a leaking boat: However much I tried bailing the water out, it just keeps sinking and sinking, ever so painfully slowly.

And today, I finally did it: For the first time in my life, my bank account was overdrawn and I was in the negative.

It was a rather profound and distressing moment for me, to get that sort of wakeup call. I hadn't expected it, because I thought I had calculated everything perfectly. (Apparently not!) It was sobering, and made me face up to the difficult decisions I had to make next.

Well, I couldn't drop the mortgage, and I'm bound to this rental place for another 3 months. So the next biggest thing that I could drop that would make a significant difference was… my tithe.

It was a huge struggle for me to decide to drop my tithe. I really did not want to. Isn't it being unfaithful, not trusting that God would provide? Am I just taking things into my own hand, and not trusting in God? (Just so happened I was reading Genesis 12 this morning!) Am I doing the right thing to put a hold on the tithing? How can I be a faithful Christian and still be financially sound?

But what does it mean to be faithful?

I pondered that last question for a long time, and had to have a good look at the motives of my heart. As I reflected, I realised that deep inside, I was scared that I wasn't doing "the right thing". I was afraid that if I didn't "trust" in my God in the "appropriate" way, then that would upset "someone" (I didn't really know who).  And if I plunged even deeper into my heart, I would find that the root of the whole issue was Pride: I didn't want to be that bad; I wanted to be able to "do my part" to be "good and worthy"; I wanted to be able to look after my own end of things.

And I came to a realisation: Being faithful isn't just about trusting in the "right way" and doing the "right thing". It's about trusting in the fact that our God is a loving Heavenly Father that eagerly wants the best for us. It's about having a heart that is so assured of God's love for us that what you end up doing for God doesn't really matter because you know that nothing you can do can make Him love you any more or any less; His love for us is already over-full and brimming over. It's about knowing that nothing was yours in the first place - it all belongs to God - and so it doesn't really matter the objective amount that you're "giving back" to God.

A faithful Christian does good works out of a grateful heart that knows how much God has already done for us, and how much He is willing to do for us, no matter what we do. The faithful Christian is not concerned about whether he/she is tithing enough or not; he/she just acts on the basis of the love that he/she has already been given. A Christian filled with saving faith does not concern himself with the question of "Am I doing enough for Christ?"; he is more concerned with "What does Christ want me to do next?" - The train of questioning and thought is on an entirely different set of tracks!

Rather than making a guilt-driven, pride-based, self-centred decision on "what I should tithe", I should be turning the tables around and saying, "Ok, God has given me this situation. I know He loves me. What does He want me to do with it? What can I do with the situation I've been given so that I can give Him more glory?"

The differences are extremely subtle (I'm still trying to wrap my head around it ><); but also extremely profound.

I thank God that He would give me this situation, so I can face up to and deal with my heart of fear. My relationship with Him has always been too fear-driven and legalistic, rather than filled with the assurance of Covenantal, unbreakable, love. And this has helped hammer this realisation home just that little bit more.

I suppose I just have to learn to sit back and enjoy the ride more ;)

It will be fine. Because my God is oh so fine :)

So you're going to die

I presented my first Sermon ever today :) 

And I thought: Given that I've written all this out anyway, why not just post it up on my blog for everyone else who wasn't there to read?

So here it is :)

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What are you looking forward to?

Did anyone recognise that clip from the Simpsons? If you haven’t seen it before, basically the story is that Homer Simpson goes all-out at a Japanese Restaurant and decides to try out exotic “fugu”. Unfortunately, the chef cut it the wrong way, which meant that the bits that Homer ate were quite likely toxic. As you saw in the clip, Dr Hibbert makes the grim declaration that Homer will be dead within 24 hours.  Knowing this, Homer then goes about ticking off his “Bucket list”, scrambling to do everything he felt he needed to do before he died, from spending time with Bart, Lisa and his own dad, to making a video recording for Maggie, to having a final drink with his mates, to telling off his boss. Confronted with the reality of his imminent death and the realisation that he no longer has the time to do ALL the things he wanted to, Homer’s life and priorities are transformed for a single day. Until, at least, the next day when he finds out that he wasn’t going to die. Yet.

People act depending on their situation. If you have millions of dollars, you can afford to buy a house without thinking much about it. If you have ten dollars left in your wallet, though, you think carefully before you spend. If you have an assignment due in a few weeks’ time, you might not care much about it. If it was due tomorrow though, you’d start panicking and work up a frenzy over it.

Before the Fugu scare, Homer couldn’t care less about what he did. He thinks that life just keeps going on and on, and he isn’t really in a hurry to make anything out of his life. But when he is told he only has 24 hours left to live, his perspective changes drastically. Suddenly, he realises how precious every moment of his life is, and how much unfished business that he had in this life, and how much he needs to do before he died. He rushes about trying to pack EVERYTHING he wanted to do before he died into a single day. Life has changed; things are more urgent.

What about us? Do we have this sense of urgency?

At this point, some may ask: “Well, what’s the rush? We’re not going to die anytime soon! We’re too young to be thinking about that!”

Ah! But how do you know that?

In one sense, what I have to say today is nothing new at all. We all know that death is coming – none of us believe that it will happen any time soon for any of us, but we all know it will come, later rather than sooner.

On the other hand though, do any of you actually believe that you will die? I would go so far as to say that very few of us actually believe this deep in our hearts. King David summarises this condition well in Psalm 39 where he says, “Yes, every mortal man is only a vapor. Certainly, man walks about like a mere shadow. Indeed, they frantically rush around in vain, gathering possessions without knowing who will get them.” (Psalm 39:5-6)

We rush about our daily lives working on our assignments, earning our money, building our little empires, all the while ignoring the tiny fact that all this can come crashing down in a single moment. We fill our schedules months in advance, expecting that we’re going to be there to do those things. As James says, we say to ourselves, “Today or tomorrow we will travel to such and such a city and spend a year there and do business and make a profit.” We are so certain of our ability to determine our own destinies that we forget that ultimately, it is God who is in control, not us. How foolish! “You don’t even know what tomorrow will bring—what your life will be! For you are like smoke that appears for a little while, then vanishes.” (James 4:13-14)

Whether you like it or not, Death is universal and inevitable – everyone dies.  “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) And just as all have sinned, all will die. Furthermore, none of us know when we will die; in fact, if you really believe what the Bible says, then we in fact have no control over when we will die. (cf Psalm 139:16)

This begs the question: In the face of such an immovable and unpredictable reality how, then, should we live? Should we cower in fear, knowing that we could die at any moment? Or should we be apathetic to death, knowing that we cannot do anything to stop it? Or should we be the tragic romantic and fight against it anyway, despite the futility of it all?

Well, that depends on what you believe about Death. As I said before, people act depending on their situation. If they are headed for a dead end, hope is lost. But if they can see even a possibility for something better, hope can be restored.

Ecclesiastes is the book where King Solomon, one of the wisest men on earth, explores the issue of the emptiness of life “under the sun”. Solomon demonstrates that if you take life “as is”, going by only what you can see, touch, taste, smell and feel – ie from a materialistic World-View - then life loses a lot of its meaning. The Holman uses the word “futile” as a translation of the original Hebrew word “hebel”, but it actually can be translated into a lot of other English words because none of these words really capture the full meaning of the original. Just to give you an understanding of the condition that Solomon describes life “under the sun”, here are some other translations of the word “hebel”:

-          Futility (HCSB)

-          Vanity (ASV, NKJV, ESV, NASB)

-          Meaningless (NIV, NLT)

-          Useless (GNT)

-          Smoke (Message)

-          Perfectly pointless (CEB)

-          Of no use (NLV)

-          Mist, Breath (Voice)

-           “a thing that doesn't last; that which is insubstantial, fleeting; a thing without power.”

So as you can see, Solomon, after searching deeply with his wisdom, comes to the conclusion that life “under the sun” – that is, without consideration of the immaterial – is rather empty and pointless.

In the passage from Ecclesiastes that was read earlier (Ecclesiastes 3:16-22), it focuses down on how the issue of Death adds to the “meaninglessness” of life under the sun. If both humans and animals share the same fate, what benefit is there to being human at all? Man, for all his greatness, ingenuity, hard work and skill, for all his depth of compassion, mercy, love and passion, cannot escape the clutches of Death. In the end, he becomes dust, just like any other living thing. If the material is all that there is to Existence, then what is the point of doing anything? If you come from nothing, have no particular reason to be here, and are going nowhere, then what’s the point?! That, my friends, is the cold, logical conclusion of the materialistic, Atheistic world-view. Man, for all his brilliance, is just dust.

It’s kinda like Maths.  Have you ever wondered what the point of studying complex Maths in highschool was? You go to ALL this effort to get an Asian Pass in the subject, and then you barely ever use it again after you graduate. So much work, for so little gain. ^^”

If you live life with a perspective that only the material, physical things matter, then how can you have hope? For the very definition of hope is “A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” If you expect that nothing is going to happen; that after all is said and done, it all comes to nothing, then there is no hope.  A life without God is hebel.

But what is the alternative?

You may have noticed that today there were two Bible Readings. These were deliberately put together so you could compare and contrast them.

Philippians was written by Paul during one of the times that he was imprisoned, and when quite likely his life was in danger. But if you read the letter, it sounds like he doesn’t care about that fact at all! Have a look:

“For me, living is Christ and dying is gain. Now if I live on in the flesh, this means fruitful work for me; and I don’t know which one I should choose. I am pressured by both. I have the desire to depart and be with Christ—which is far better— but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you. Since I am persuaded of this, I know that I will remain and continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that, because of me, your confidence may grow in Christ Jesus when I come to you again.” (Philippians 1:21-26)

It sounds like he’s almost disappointed that, as far as he could work out, he probably won’t be allowed to die and be with Jesus! Now, Paul wasn’t depressed and suicidal and wishing that it was all over; he was genuinely hopeful of death. This was because he expected and anticipated something much better after Death, namely being with Jesus. Elsewhere, Paul says that he counts anything he might have lost for the sake of Christ as dung. The only thing he wanted more in the world than to be with Jesus was to serve Jesus with all of his heart, soul, mind and strength. It was this that gave him the fire in his heart to strive with all his might for the glory of God. Later on in Philippians, Paul says, “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14)

What are you looking forward to? What gives you hope? What drives your life? Is it the hope that, one day, you will once again be with Christ, and the deepest longing of your heart for relationship with God will be fulfilled? Or are you being driven by finite and “hebel” things like the desire for wealth, comfort, power or fame? Do you even have hope in your life? Are you even looking forward to anything? Or are you just drifting from one moment to the next, not really caring about where you’re going next?

The fact of the matter, though, is that we are all going somewhere. Dragged on by the unstoppable currents of time, all of us will pass through the Shadow of the Valley of Death, and after that we will either spend Eternity together with our Father in Heaven, or exiled forever from His presence. There is no other option. So where are you going to go?

What are you going to look forward to?

If all you have to look forward to is Death followed by annihilation and non-existence, then the future is bleak, hopeless, meaningless, hebel. But if you can see the Bigger Picture, raise your eyes up to heaven, and see the Great Purpose for which you are made for, to worship and glorify God, then life is filled with so much hope, hope that is absolutely and utterly unshakeable.

Why should I save a man’s life with my medical skills, only for them to die again in a few years’ time? Saving them only for them to die again is hebel. BUT, if you put God into the picture, it’s different, isn’t it? Now I’m saving them so they can live a few more years, so that they can have more opportunities to get to know Jesus, and so they can spend Eternity with Him. That has a much more lasting purpose.

Why should I bother with making sure that the finances of a company are in order when, at the end of the day, it will all certainly dissolve into nothing?! Well, the point is: if you make sure that the finances are in order, you are ensuring that the company stays afloat, so that people stay employed, so that families are fed, and so that opportunities will arise for the Gospel to enter their lives.

Why should I bother with doing well at school or uni when it all counts for nothing at the end of the day? To do well just for the sake of doing well is hebel. To do well just for the sake of getting a good job is hebel. But to do well in order to be more capable of spreading the Gospel, to enable you to enter into special opportunities to share God’s love with the world, THAT is meaningful and hopeful, because it has eternal and lasting significance.

Living in light of the inevitability of Death as the final and only endpoint is hopeless. Living in light of the inevitability of Eternal Life is full of hope - not simply because we are alive, but because we will fulfil our highest purpose in existence: to love, cherish and worship our God. It is ONLY by living and dying in light of the Gospel that true and purposeful meaning can be found. For Paul, for the Apostles, for all Christians, THIS is the central hope that drives us onwards. It is THIS hope that allows us, even in our darkest moments of despair when everything seems to be falling apart, to say, “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be PRAISED!” THIS is the thing that allows Christians to have joy in spite of times of hardship and strife, not because God will make our Earthly lives easier later on, but because HE WILL TAKE US  HOME after all is said and done.  This is what keeps us RUNNING. As Hebrews 12 says: “Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne.”

Which leads to my next question: If you are here today and you claim to be a Christian, IS this the hope that is driving you forward? Is the hope of the Gospel really the central motivation in your life? At the end of the day, can you really say “to live is Christ, and to die is gain”? Can you really say, “Father, not my will but Yours be done?” Or are you so caught up by the hebel things of this world, the marks, the career, the retirement plan, the next holiday, whatever distraction it might be, and find it hard to focus on what your goal really should be?  

If you have been distracted from the goal of the Cross, then I would like to invite you to come back and analyse what you’re doing, the inconsistency in your life. Jesus didn’t die for you so you could live a calm and cushy life. He didn’t die so you could win that game of LoL, to help you pass that exam so that you can save face, or to make a lot of money so you can live in luxury. He died to save you from the World, not to indulge in it. We don’t belong here, so don’t act like you do!

For those of you who are Christians and already have this hope, then my message for you today is this: Take heart, and remember what you hope for. Remember that glorious goal that you are heading towards, and everything else will fade into insignificance; no amount of pain or suffering that you sustain for the sake of the Gospel will be in vain. None of it is meaningless; none of it is hebel.

If you are not a Christian, then let me ask you once again: What are you looking forward to? Have you even thought about that? Do you know that at any moment, you will be called to account for your answer to this question? Do you know the urgency of your situation? Do you know that your life is as limited as Homer Simpson’s was, except that he knew the timeframe whereas you don’t? The answer to this question is surprisingly critical and fundamental to your entire existence. It will do you well to consider your answer carefully.

And if you are here and you aren’t a Christian, and have already firmly settled on the answer that the future that you are looking forward to is not in Christ, I have this to say: I am glad that you have made a decision on this issue, and appreciate that you have considered this thoroughly already. But can I invite you, implore you, to please re-evaluate your stance. You may have found a hope elsewhere outside of Christ, but may I humbly suggest that the book of Ecclesiastes demonstrates that hope cannot be found outside of a living relationship with Christ.

And for those of you who haven’t been listening: LISTEN! Your life is at stake. Don’t waste your life. Christ is your life.

Remember: You can die at any time. You have Eternity to look forward to, whether it is with Jesus or without Jesus. Live for that Eternity, rather than the present. 

Look forward to Christ.