Praying against Mountains

"I assure you: If you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you tell this mountain, 'Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' it will be done. And if you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.' - Matt 21:21-22

I woke up with some melancholic thoughts about the difficult situations that people I loved were in. I felt the weight of my 'unanswered' prayers, hopes and aspirations for them. I wanted God's best for them, and prayed for that fervently, but those prayers seemed very, very far from fulfilment at this point in time. The World looked like a very bleak place where we were fighting a losing battle.

But then God used this passage to open my eyes to the faithlessness of my prayers.

There is a lot in the story surrounding this passage that I don't understand (eg. why blast a fig tree, Jesus?! lol), and I suppose I've used my lack of understanding to skip over the bits where Jesus is quite explicit but I find hard to believe. Whatever I ask? Will receive? Isn't that a bit too strong? Surely there are exceptions, such as needing to pray according to God's Will, etc.

And maybe there are; but I realised this morning that I had gone too far the other way.

I pray without faith, without certainty, without trust, without reliance. When I pray, I pray with a heart that expects that I don't really know God that well; and so I don't really know what He wants; and so whatever I pray for may or may not happen, no matter how 'right' it seems. And so I prepare contingency plans in my own strength, knowing that if God doesn't pull through, at least I have a plan.

But this isn't praying with faith - there isn't a mustard seed's worth. It isn't letting go of my will, dreams, hopes and aspirations and trusting that God's Will is better than whatever I can come up with. It isn't letting myself be vulnerable; I'm not putting myself in a position where if God doesn't pull through I'm royally screwed.

It isn't praying in accordance with what I already know about His good, loving, righteous character that overflows with compassion and concern for us.

Holy Spirit, give me the seed of faith I need to pray well. Open my ears to hear Your voice, so I know what You want me to pray for, so I know in faith it is given even before I have finished praying. Fill me with the assurance that comes with the certain understanding of Your character that is full to overflowing with love, so that I can pray with power. Help me let go of my fear of failure, so that I can rest in the assurance that comes with Your provision. The mountains may move, and they may not, but let me throw my lot in with You and trust You in prayer rather than in my own plans.